Finding Joy without Judgement

A TWO-PART EXPLORATION OF STRENGTH BASED APPROACHES TO LIVING AND LEARNING

Dr Helen Street

Honorary Fellow, The Graduate School of Education, The University of Australia;

Chair and Founder of Positive Schools (positiveschools.com & PositiveSchools.com.au);

Founder and author of ‘Contextual Wellbeing’ (HelenStreet.com)

[email protected]

‘A focus on values supports the development of contextual wellbeing with meaning and purpose. Moreover, the exploration of values within a classroom, living room or board room, helps us to understand and pay attention to what matters, without limiting our understanding of ourselves, or of who we can become.’

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PART TWO – From Goals to Values

In part one of this two-part series, I explored the value of focusing on ‘what works well’ in any given situation; as opposed to ‘what is not working and needs changing’. Taking this strength-based approach to guiding behaviour is both energizing and encouraging. It ensures that feedback provides an opportunity to experience competency and growth. 

To ensure that this strength-based approach is both meaningful and workable, the concept of a strength (ie what works well) needs to be defined with relation to the context in which a person is in. For example, in the midst of a class discussion having the ‘courage’ to present your ideas  on stage will often be a valuable strength; whereas in the midst of a sporting event, embracing ‘perseverance’ might lead to the best experience.

Behavioural theories of depression have long suggested that we learn behaviours that are useful to us (i.e. act as strengths) in the context of our childhood.  If we then change context, but do not alter our behaviour, the behaviours that used to be useful, can become barriers to wellbeing. For example, consider a child growing up in a household where noise and chatter are not tolerated from junior family members. The child may usefully learn to sit quietly when other people are around. If the child then grows into an extremely quiet adult, this may impede them connecting easily with others.  It is thus imperative that we learn fluidity and flexibility in our attitudes and behaviours, as much as we learn about how different attitudes and behaviours can work in different situations.

I believe an authentic and thriving world needs to embrace all facets of the human condition as worthy, meaningful and of great value within the right situation. As such, any of the multitude of human attitudes, feelings and behaviours can be experienced as positive or negative given the right moment in the right context, at the right time. This is true of those ways of being and behaving that are often experienced as tough and challenging. For example, anger can be a call to improve equity; grief can be an expression of immense love; anxiety can be an important call for caution.

Certainly, some of Seligman and Peterson’s identified ‘character strengths’[i] have been well-researched as mediators of wellbeing in western culture. For example, kindness has often been cited as a cornerstone of positive relationships, an important element of living well^[ii]. Gratitude has been significantly linked to both wellbeing^[iii] and the reduction of unwanted states such as resentment^[iv]. Still, no-one would state that the expression of any attitude or behaviour is always beneficial or warranted in every situation, and perhaps even more importantly, it does not always represent a person’s authentic response to a context. For example, if a person is frustrated and angry within an inequitable context, this could be a strong, healthy and understandable response. Moreover, if this frustration and anger leads to that person changing or leaving the context which is unhealthy for them, then their response has also arguably been a strength at that time.

The more we categorize personality states and traits in positive and negative terms, as ‘strengths’ or weaknesses, the more likely we are to pathologize unpleasant emotions and to limit the full complexity of human experience. This can be troubling on multiple levels. It can lead to those experiencing distress, anxiety or sadness to view themselves as lesser  or estranged from their communities.  At its extreme, the preference given to certain ways of behaving and feeling can lead to an assumption that dysphoric states are inherently wrong. This belief  may well compound distress, leading sufferers to feel bad about feeling bad.^[v]

I propose that a more useful, and more accurate representation of Seligman and Peterson’s character strengths would be to state that they represent some of the attitudes and behaviours that are frequently associated with wellbeing, in the twenty-first century. As such, they provide a useful reference point to explore responses in any given situation. This is a very different notion to assuming each person can usefully be assessed according to their ‘top’ character strengths, that character strengths are positive traits irrespective of context, or that there are a definitive 24-character strengths in the world.  

Rather than asking “what are your top strengths?” I suggest it is better we ask: “what attitudes and behaviours are strong within this situation at this time?”

Far better to believe in the power of multiple possibilities than to be defined with limited powers.

The Guidance of Values

So, if we shift our focus on well-being and behaving from the individual to the context; how might we better support and guide an individual on their unique journey in life?   Rather than consideration of a person having a certain number of ‘character strengths’ to a greater or lesser degree, I suggest we invest in understanding ‘the power of living according to our values’. 

Unlike the currently popular assessment of ‘character strengths’, we are not defined by our values. Rather, our values are the things that we consider most important in life. They represent ways of being and behaving that we consider as valuable guides for an authentic life.  They form the basis for the development of many of our beliefs about what matters in the world, and what attitudes and behaviours we choose to express. As such, the identification of our values can help us understand more about how we operate in the world while also honoring context and the everchanging nature of our social identity. Our values represent what matters to us within a flexible, ever-changing, multi-faceted existence.

I suggest that it is incredibly useful for any social group, be it a family, a classroom or a staffroom, to spend time identifying shared values that inform normative development and our shared understandings of the world.

I formulated the idea of Contextual Wellbeing^[vi] as a means of better understanding our place in the world as social beings. The Contextual Wellbeing framework proposes that we are a ‘well being’ when we experience belonging and engagement within a healthy social context. A healthy social context is a context that meets our fundamental needs for relatedness, autonomy and competency^[vii] in an equitable way. 

A focus on values supports the development of contextual wellbeing with meaning and purpose. Moreover, the exploration of values within a classroom, living room or staff room, helps us to understand and pay attention to what matters, without limiting our understanding of ourselves, or of who we can become. 

If we can learn to accept and connect with both our ‘inner-most selves’ and our ‘outer-most contexts’ in a way that respects and responds to our values, we can learn to live well.

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Read more from Helen Street and find out about Contextual Wellbeing and Positive Schools by visiting HelenStreet.com and PositiveSchools.com

Helen will be hosting a full day pre-conference workshop and a mainstage talk, along with ten other presenters, at the Positive Schools 2023 conferences around Australia PositiveSchools.com.au

PART ONE  of ‘Finding Joy Without Judgement’ can be accessed at HelenStreet.com and also in International School Magazine, Winter 2022

Both part one and part two of this article were first written for publication in International School Magazine and have been reproduced with kind permission. https://www.schoolmanagementplus.com/category/publications/international-school-magazine/)

REFERENCES

[i] Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. New York: Oxford University Press and Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

[ii] E.g.   ‘Kindness Can Improve Mental Wellbeing’ (2010) 44(42) Irish Medical Times 36

  Lim, Michelle H et al, ‘A Randomised Controlled Trial of the Nextdoor Kind Challenge: a Study Protocol’ (2021) 21(1) BMC public health 1

[iii] E.g.  Alkozei, Anna, Ryan Smith and William DS Killgore, ‘Gratitude and Subjective Wellbeing: A Proposal of Two Causal Frameworks’ (2017) 19(5) Journal of happiness studies 1519

[iv] E.g.  Hammer, Joseph H and Rachel E Brenner, ‘Disentangling Gratitude: A Theoretical and Psychometric Examination of the Gratitude Resentment and Appreciation Test-Revised Short (GRAT-RS)’ (2019) 101(1) Journal of personality assessment 96

[v] Street, H (in press) Umbrellas in the Rain – everything is going to be alright (mostly)

[vi] Street, H. (2018) Contextual Wellbeing – creating positive schools from the inside out. Wise Solutions. Perth, WA

[vii] Ryan, Richard M. & Deci, Edward L. (2012) Motivation, Personality, and Development Within Embedded Social Contexts: An Overview of Self-Determination Theory Deci, Edward L. & Ryan, Richard M. The Oxford Handbook of Human Motivation Oxford University Press